What is Love?

This may be a little Mary Poppins or Dr. Seuss, but follow me, would you?

Is love found in a book?

Is love found in a person?

Is love found in ourselves?

When I think of love and learning healthy love, I see it displayed prominently in God. God loved us first. He chose us and predestined us.

God loved us first. - (adapted from 1 John 4)

If God loved us first, then shouldn’t we be able to figure out love based on how God loves us?

For starters, God loves us as his children.

How does one love their children? Healthy people love their children with great devotion, kindness, gentleness, teaching, patience, empathy, and tenderness.

So, would that be a good model for loving others? Or would you venture to say loving others comes in the messy category that since the fall of man, Adam and Eve’s decision to trust themselves more than God, we’ve had issues with how to love?

Loving others (apart from our children) is different. The love Adam and Eve felt, the first humans to be loved by God, was a template of perfection. The love these two felt was marked by being completely themselves; as Genesis describes, they felt naked and unashamed. Shame came immediately upon sin entering the world and started the messy process of loving each other, sinners and all.

Loving others consistently takes devotion to growing ourselves and loving others as they grow. Sounds a little bit like Disney’s Lion King - circle of life? I believe the circle of love, forgiveness, growth, openness, and repentance keeps people in healthy relationships for many years.

Healthy people show compassion for themselves and, by extension, others.

I have been reading several books lately. One I highly recommend is called Safe People, which provides suggestions for traits that safe and healthy people possess.

Two of the best traits that come from this book are the ability to forgive quickly and show grace to others.

Do you have connections in your life that are full of empathy, compassion, hope, tenderness, encouragement, and joy? I pray so. On the other hand, if this journal helps you see that you need healthier people in your life, that is ok and wonderful.

God continues to illuminate my eyes to people willing to admit wrongs and ask for forgiveness. Both parties in a relationship need to be self-aware enough to see when they have messed up.

Asking for forgiveness and forgiving can not be overstated or overdone. Too often, we find people ready to point fingers at others without looking within at their mistakes.

As a believer, there is a popular verse about taking the plank out of your eye first (Mathew 7:5). Apostle Mathew is saying that we are all sinners saved by grace, and we all have our faults. In short, safe people extend grace to others because they have grace for themselves.

Here is a life barometer check - How are you providing safety and connection for yourself and others?

This can be tricky since we have all been hurt in some way or some manner.

The hard truth about relationships is that people are messy, and hurt happens. But what we do with the pain lends us safe (or not). Another important question we should all be asking ourselves periodically is, Once I am hurt, do I quickly forgive and ask for forgiveness?

For quite some time, I didn’t realize that people's emotional and soul safety was important. Through learning theology and counseling, I learned that people willing to see their faults and ask for forgiveness, denounce pride, and seek love earnestly are ultimately safe.

I pray for you right now as you read this. That you have safe love in your life and that God continues to bring overwhelming love, compassion, and kindness all your days.

Xoxo